this blog in random

August 19th, 2008 by darkmau

The first time I wrote a blog,I just wanted to pass time. I just wanted to juice out the emotion inside me. THis friendster blog went to more than four times of rebranding, renaming and restructuring. Time after time this has been my little red book of emotions and pain.This is the little journal of truths and lies.

This is the record book of the things that I never talk about, the things that I dont mention, and the dreams I just secretly wishing for. If this was a passport, it would be a passport to the journey of unknown.

But just like a  movie, and a business, things just need to move on. Changes are need, life evolves, and so the things that I write. I then forget that I could not write. Yes, you read it right.

Finishing a degree in Mass communication, or being in a the publication doesnt make you a writer. Serving in an NGO as a technical documenter doesnt make you a prolific writer, I am not a writer. In fact I am surprised as my teachers are, that I can write a decent article. Knowing myself I am never articulate at anything. In fact this thing is not even coherent to have a decent grade.

I have seen people who could actually write, who could stream through lines and verses like waves of a free flowing energy. And I adore these people, they remain my inspiration, part of my who-I-like-to-be conquest. But of course as I stream to the walk of life, things and perceptions change.

Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst…. again a matter of perception. But as we go through these things of negativity, we tend to be biased to pain.

All these years, this blog was my dependable shock absorber. It allowed me to pass through trying times. And for the people who read my unfiltered thoughts, thanks.

darkmau

MALAYA!

Kwentong Siopao

July 3rd, 2008 by darkmau

Mahabang kwento kung paano naging Kwentong Siopao ang blogsite, hindi ko rin maintindihan kung paano naging Adobonglife.com yung pangalan ng buong site. Ang alam ko lang, nung tinanong ako ni Dom(sya yung isa pa sa may ari ng site)  kung ano daw ang gusto ko na pangalan ng site ang sagot ko is kwentong Siopao.

So bakit siopao?

QUICK FACTS:

1. Pinaglihi daw ako sa Siopao

2. ANg siopao ay Hindi purong Pilipinong pagkain pero makikita sa kahit saang kanto.

3. Masarap ang Siopao na may itlog(meron akong itlog, or hugis itlog ang ulo ko)

Ayon lang naman ang mga quick facts sa Siopao. Hindi pa full launched ang buong Site, pero gumagana na ang blogsite. Ang theme ng blogs is based on human interest, mainly kahit anong stories about people and people’s experience. Halo halong feelings. Ang main medium na gamit is Tagalog or tagalog english. Sadya ito upang mas makapag network sa mga kababayang Pilipino. Hindi ko  maipapangangako na magiging mahusay ang mga entries ng Siopao, pero eto lang sigurado, pagsisikapan namin na pag husayan ang bawat entry at upang makwento natin sa buong mundo ang mga istorya tungkol sa buhay, pagkabigo, pagmamahal at ang pagmahal ng bilihin.

Open din po ang  site na ito for topics  na gusto niyo mafeature sa siopao. Sana po ay suportahan niyo ang kwentong siopao. Maraming salamat.

http://kwentongsiopao.adobonglife.com/

You can also visit Dom’s blog

http://kubyertos.adobonglife.com/

daRKmau

MALAYA!

The Waiting Game

June 23rd, 2008 by darkmau

GOOD THINGS HAPPEN to those WHO Wait. Does it sound logically correct?  Looking back at the times that we hear our teacher/parents say that PATIENCE is a virtue, have we ever considered thinking the real meaning of patience and waiting.

Do you know why the good things happen to those people who waited? ITS BECAUSE they have LET THE BEST THINGS PASS THEM. If we would connect SEIZE THE DAY, and PATIENCE, we would have two theories with frictions. One says GO, one says NO.

BUT maybe the reasons are clearly defined, yet people are just blinded by facts that we could not help but indulge ourselves with longing for more things, thus creating REGRETS. Maybe in our lifetime, we neither need the best things, nor the good things, we just need the contentment. A true contentment that we could feel it our heart.

And for me, that is the essence of all these wait, wine can never taste good without time. Flowers and fruits grows in season, and time can neither be stopped, but we can always wait for it, until it takes us away to the next level.

EVERYTHING IS ACCORDING TO TIME. The waiting game of life, begins NOW. Are you waiting, or are you moving?

darkmau

MALAYA!

extensions

June 13th, 2008 by darkmau

I would like to apologize for not updating this friendster blog, i was so overwhelmed with my Multiply account, and was kept busy by practicing photography(anothere sensible nonsense).

however, if you’d like to waste time, feel free to visit my multiply journal, (http://maurixio.multiply.com/journal). but as soon as i have a free time, im going to update this man in the fridge. thank you for visiting this blog.

lastly, if you feel bored/tired in visiting my multiply journal, you can read my archives here. I hope you’d enjoy it. again, thank you.

darkmau

MALAYA!

one simple rule

April 29th, 2008 by darkmau

it was 1996, june. he was a highschool freshman, and barely knew people. it was a big public school(the best school his parents could afford). he sat in the corner of the room near the door, thinking that it is the best emergency exit if anything goes wrong with his first day as a highschool student. then a girl named MALIBU sat beside him.

"hi my name is malibu, im new here in the city(she laughed) as if it was worth mentioning…ehm what’s your name?"

he was concentrating on the vandals written on his arm chair…it reads" push button to eject teacher"..and then felt a poke on his shoulder. and he turned..

"ohh my name, kiko.. although my real name is francisco" and they both became quiet. weeks passed with trial and error conversations, malibu had finally opened kiko’s world, they would go to lunch together, talk each night on the phone, send notes while having boring classes, eventhough sometimes they are seats apart due to seatplans made by terror teachers. they kept things smooth taking each day deeper.

they were kids, vulnerable and gullible. they were being teased, and they dont care. all they were waiting for the right time.

both of them shared common peers, common interests, and they shared all the common things from school to everything. this was good until malibu met rich. rich was the guy whom people would call as the perfect gentleman, a natural comedian, he was everything kiko wasnt.

but kiko tried to maintain everything. desperately trying to save everything from falling apart. he struggled for words to say, for dates to keep, for notes to send, he kept trying until he just popped out the wrong words. "i love you Malibu".

Malibu struggled to say a word. she kept quiet, she shrugged her shoulders and gave Kiko a hug. a long hug, that could only mean one thing. it was over. and then everything and everything in kiko’s world was rocked upside down. it was too painful for him to see the world he was in, things changed, the common people, the common peers, the common interest, the whole proximity of the whole classroom started to munch down his spine. and then he sat down in his arm chair.

taking out his signpen and etched a marking to last his lifetime, but not on the chair of course, it will be changed every after natinal and local elections(thats how politics works). on his arm chair it was written.

"one simple rule, dont get involve with someone from your system"

and it was the rule he followed upto this day.

darkmau

MALAYA!

treasure chest

April 2nd, 2008 by darkmau

there is nothing to find in an empty chest. no treasures, no memories, not even dust, empty….all empty. but for its fame, it is still searched for, cared, and guarded as if it is valuable. the essence of its history is nothing but a triumph to whoever would inherit it.

most of the time this is how life is. searching and fighting for nothing but empty dreams, hoping to get the acclaim for being a victorious over empty chest. the saddest part of it, is when all time are wasted to get that chest, only to find out that there is nothing to it.

we give up simple dreams to acquire the dreams which we thought would hold us up to what we call success, not knowing that the simple things are success by its own rites.

darkmau

MALAYA!

1 2 3 treatement

February 21st, 2008 by darkmau

i am counting, until i can give up on what i am feeling.

until i feel no more eerie thing,

until i have no more feeling.

until i can stop seeing…

your shit face beside her…smiling…asshole!

this is my reason

February 8th, 2008 by darkmau

i’ve been itching to write about this comment made by a friend. she told me why do i bother to write in the friendster blog, nobody is interested to read anyway? whoa, with that question, i was like, surprised, because quoting her and calling her my friend would be a mismatch. she doesnt really read my postings. but i don’t care.

writing is my outlet, and i do not mind if people don’t read what i post. it’s my life anyway, so if you can’t take my logic then buzz off. i do not have to please people just because they like the topics i write, i am not here to write for your pleasure.

i don’t really care if i am not an excellent writer, i don’t have to be one. being the best does not prove so much about yourself, in the end, your body will decay, and you will end up like any other corpse.

the comments left on my blogs doesnt say much of what kind of person i am, some people may agree with me, or disagree with me. but at the end of the day, we all live to die, but along that path we see things. sometimes its not all about the destination, its more of the journey.

your earnings wont say much of how you are, but on how you get to your earnings would say what kind of person you are. some people are born lucky, and some people are just hardworking….beyond that there is no unfortunate people, we all are capable.

if we are made unfortunate, then trees would have not been made, there will be no clouds, no moon, no sun, no stars, no things to symbolize hope. why do we always look up, when sometimes the best things happen when we are looking down.

blabber all i want, and scribble as far as my thoughts and fingers would allow me. i can be happy, sad, angry, dead, in love, and more. it doesnt matter, life is just a matter of opinions anyway.

darkmau

MALAYA!

-if you have read this, thanks-

kahilingan ni freddie

February 2nd, 2008 by darkmau

dearest kupido,

ako ay isang binatang nag aantay ng iyong palaso. tatlumpong taon na ako,at madalas ang hobby ko magday dream kay juliet na naipit ata sa trapik.

ilang beses na rin ako sumubok na magkaron ng nobya, ang first try ko nga was nung grade one ako. teacher sya at ako ang kanyang pet, nakaupo ako sa row four pero i know love na love niya ako, pero di ko sya masyado type, bukod sa palagi syang nangungurot at mahilig magtapon ng chalk at eraser, mahilig pa syang magbenta ng tocino at kropek. kaya hindi kami nagclick, kaya nung sumunod na school year nagdecide ang parents ko na magmove kami sa ibang lugar, kaya nauwi sa stalemate ang story namin.

pero nung grade four ako sabi ng guidance conselor ko, illusion ko lang daw na naging girlfriend ko yung teacher ko nung grade one, kasi daw bata pa ako nun…at kahit na palagi akong tinatawag na "ga" nung teacher na yun di daw meaning nun naging kami… after all these years narealize ko, tama ang guidance counselor ko, yung "ga" pala expression lang ng teacher ko dahil galing syang quezon, at yun talaga ang accent nya… at kadalasan yung "ga" niya may kasunod na "go".

pero nung mag high school ako, nameet ko ang si dalia, mas matanda si dalia sa akin ng dalawang taon, first year ako third year na sya, at tuwing sabado maaga akong pumupunta sa skul para makita siyang magpractice sa kanilang volleyball. varsity kasi siya, sikat sya na player sa aming school, kaso hindi kami manalo sa mga competition, palagi kasi high blood ang kanilang coach, at mas madalas matechnical ang team namin dahil sa pananapok ng players. at marami ring beses na may walk out na nangyayari sa court kaya na dedefault ang school team namin.

pero grabe, sobrang crush ko si dalia, slash ang hair nya, malusog ang kanyang dibdib, at makinis ang kanyang balat. madalas ko siyang binabangga sa canteen, at madalas din ako nabubuhusan ng kanyang juice tuwing ginagawa ko to. pero kahit nasasabon ako sa bahay dahil nauubos ang aming chlorine sa pagpapaputi ng aking uniform ay ayos lang. isa lang alam ko, malakas ang tama ko kay dalia.

prom nila non, at naglakas loob ako magbigay ng bulaklak, grabe ang heaven feeling, akala ko noon kupido, yun na yung palaso  mo, kasi tinanggap ni dalia yung flowers. sabay sabi salamat. pero nung gabi ding yun nasira ang aking walang kamuwang muwang na pagkatao.

inantay ko siya hanggang matapos ang kanilang prom, ready ako, may gel ang buhok kong spikes at ilang pakete ng judge gum para iwas bad breath, at namemorize ko na rin kung ano ang puede ko sabihin. pero nung lumabas sya kasama niya si annie, magkahawak ang kanilang kamay, at nang papalapit na ako sa kinatatayuan nila, nakita ko yung bulaklak ko na binigay kay dalia, hawak na ni annie… at nung lumiko sila sa madilim na sulok, naghalikan sila… at don ko naintindihan ang ibig sabihin ng smooching. masakit pero it was really hot.

pagkatapos nun matagal din ako nagpahinga sa pagkakaroon ng lovelife. naalala ko nga nung pagkagraduate ko nung college sinulatan din kita, at sabi ko sa iyo, wag ka na mag abala sa pagpana sa akin, dahil di na ako interesado. napag alaman ko kasi masarap ang pagkain sa semenaryo. pero di rin ako natuloy, kasi sabi nila dapat daw may calling ang vocation na yun, eh wala nga akong marinig kahit tawag sa engkanto, kaya nagpatuloy na lang ako sa normal kong buhay.

pero recently mga five years ago lang, nameet ko si jez, mabait si jez, kasama ko siya sa work. pareho kaming graduate ng fine arts, mahusay sya sa ilaw at sa mga contemporary arts.  hanga ako sa outlook ni jez sa buhay, galing sya sa mayaman na family, half chinese, half spanish ang heritage nya, lahat sila ay may kutis porcelana. okay naman ang umpisa namin, nung una para lang kaming magbarkada, madalas kami sabay kumain pag lunch break, palagi naming pinagdidiskitahan ang evolution ng non traditional, non conformists na mga artist…tulad ni… ay ewan di ko maalala, mas madalas kasi nakatanga lang ako sa mga labi nya habang nagsasalita sya.

unti unti na yata akong nahuhulog, at oo nahulog nga ako. nademote ako from being a senior artist, balik ako ulit sa basic position. tang ina naman kasi palagi ako naiiwan sa cafeteria tuwing lunch time, si jez palagi akong iniiwang nakatanga. pero ayos lang, tinulungan naman ako ni jez na makabalik sa aking dating position. dahil naging boss ko na siya.

sa magazine pala kami nagwowork kupido, baka kasi nalimutan ko imention sa iyo. alam ko naman kahit malawak ang intelligence mo naliligaw ka pa rin, para si santa paminsan minsan. okay balik sa kwento ko, asan na ba ako… ah oo si jez… jezmiyo… walang nangyari, kinasal na sya last year, inimbita nga ako eh, isa ako sa groom’s men. sa kasal na yun lang ako napaluha at naiyak ng sobra. yung napangasawa niya pandak, panot at makapal ang labi.. gwapo pa ako. naisip ko tuloy, yung naging husband niya jackpot, nanalo ng milyon milyon sa lotto, tas si jez nasunugan… ten times.  at wala pang work yung lalaki, kaya minsan kupido, nakakapikon ka masyado kang unfair.

pero ngayong magvavalentines nanaman, at 2008 na, sali mo naman ako sa listahan mo. alam kong may shortage ng metal para sa iyong mga arrows, pero sana naman make an exception. pero please lang ha, wag mo ko bibigyan ng kamukha ni… ah basta simple lang, at mamahalin ako ng panghabang buhay. at promise pag natupad yun, igagawa kita ng portrait na ibebenta ko sa iba naming advertisers. win win situation yun para sa atin. kaya sige na naman, isang pana lang, kahit daplis lang basta tumama im  sure okay yun.

o sige yun muna, baka sakali mabigyan mo na ako ng pansin.

lubos na umaasa,

freddie nanalo

progression

January 10th, 2008 by darkmau

i am an activist. i may not be anymore carrying red flags  or chanting on the streets for change, i still am one. some things changed since the last time i checked on my political views and philosophical outlook in life. some things change whether we like it or not. in dealing with life, it would always be difficult to stick on one strategy, we would need critical understanding of the scenarios were in.

it is more of being grounded to reality. i have stopped changing the world, or finding my way to conquer change by forcing change, in time everything will change. it is by the nature of life that nothing would stay the same. we either change for the better or evolve to become something else. this world needs heroes as well as villains too.

i still dont dream big in life, i still wanted simple things, with long lasting effects. ive learned a lot in life, and i could never be a passivist or a reactionist, each day, i still am an activist. revolutions are not from outside, it comes from inside.

this world doesnt need wars and agression, we dont need to fight for who is right or wrong, we need motivation to work things out. there is always a better way, it might be a longer path, but still it will get you there. progression happens when all the things you believed in starts to blossom in a higher degree of understanding….theories become wisdom. and with wisdom we see GOD. if not for you, at least for me.

Darkmau

Malaya!