goodbye china eyes
so it had to end.
i held you close, tight and sweet more than i could ever given to anyone. i was the devil and you were my heaven. you were my all, you were my world, needless to say i am dead just to be beside you.
but it had to end.
for some who knows this story read along… you might reckon now what truly happened; why everything turned sour, from a sweet beginning, to a bitter ending.
she was there sitting at the corner of the gate of jacinto campus of ateneo, she who had the angelic face, but remained a voiceless stranger to me. i watched her everyday, each of the day that i could pass by that gate, each time that my system required me to puff a cigarette to keep the cancer hope’s alive, i have been there watching her in silence especially during the late afternoons. but soon that had to end.
i had to keep my life real, i had somebody else, hoping to evade such chronic disaster from the memory that lingers in my mind. but she stayed in mind.the whole one year was agonizing. but to some for seen events(can not tell what happened) i was free. or forced to be free without proper break up. and chance came my way, i had the chance of getting close to the goddess of fantasy, the one whom i bear to watch every single day that she had to sit in the corner of that gate, rain or shine, in light or in darkness, not to mention mosquitoes bugging me for some blood which i gladly share just for me to keep on the passing minutes of the beautiful sight.
obsession…
she had been my longest obsession, ever since i came to that spot, ever since i knew her existence.so with the chance at hand that i could be close to her, i knew or really did not know at all that she could be mine…and luck was with me, she had been mine… i just can spill the details of how i had her, but the important thing is I was with her and she is with me.
but did it last?
read my first sentence.
so what happened, this was the thing… you could not let someone you truly love succumb the pain of being disowned, you could not love someone and see her coming down to heaven and drag her down to your pit of hell. and lastly you could not keep a relationship that would surpass every fairy tale, each story must be anchored to reality, freedom and reality plays a vital role to what we call love… and so i had to choose. i had to.
i knew i could not keep with the phase of loving and losing, and seeing her in despair, i could not leave her knowing that i love her. there must be some other way. but it had to be.
and so we both parted ways, although i was hopeful that i could fulfill her dreams, but in my heart(whatever was left of it) kept on telling me, it just had to be one of my past…one of your past.and so from that day i knew, no relationship would ever last…but this is mau…impossible is not a word. so i contin
ue believing…or did i?
goodbye china eyes…i know you are happy…i am sorry.
-darkamau-
Malaya!
-disclaimer:
although the story is true, there are some parts that really would not mean anything at all, so keep this blog as a blog…nothing personal…blog!
