man in the fridge

so if id started talking

would anyone listen?

if i keep on going

would anyone bother stopping?

when all my fears

starting to creep

can i start

burying myself deep?

just when i started to see

people came and go

not even a face that i recognize

tragedy i have memorized.

as i started to hum

a happy tune

it began to rain

and all just wen in vain.

no pain

no gain.

bullets came rushing

no space for dodging.

bells began ringing

in my ear staying.

i stand to stir

but i was left shaken.

was it yesterday

when we were crying

or the day before that

when both of us started hoping.

but now

and tomorrow

are just sorrows

and we can not borrow

time is passing

and as always

we are left hanging

somewhere clinging.

on a cliff of hopeless future.

manic torture

uncured by time.

a depressing night after passing time.

tending to hate goodbyes

but fearing hellos

and everyone started to become foes

not an ally on my side.

mau

malaya

if tears are blood

would you shed it?

i…

maybe.

yes.

your worth my tears

in anyway

somehow.

mau

MALAYA!

"sa panaginip lang… tanging wala kang kapantay"

                                                  - POT-

nakakulong sa loob ng isipan

na ayaw magpalaya

puso’y nabahidan

ng kung anong kasamaan.

umaasa sa bukas

sa hindi malaman na landas,

pilit umiiwas

upang sa di umatras.

ngunit laging nabibitin

mga dalangin sa hangin,

ang haplos at halik

na hahanap hanapin.

parang ulan

sa isipan…

luha nagbabaha

sa di malamang dahilan.

sa isang patalim

pipilitin mong kumapit

upang iyong makamit

kahit kamay masugatan,

maabot lamang ang patutunguhan…

mau

MALAYA!

-maglaro tayo sa kawalan-

if i could tell you everything

in just one word

then i need not to explain.

supernovas and asteroids screaming

in my head orbiting.

a cup of tea spilling

in the heat of spring

a shout for feeling

uttered in silence.

mournings and worries

trapped in captivity

of sea side gloom.

as the vast ocean speaks

"it will be over soon"

the moon might pull me again

but my faith shall remain.

while the agony lasts

in this irony of things.

if i could just speak

in one word…

and i need not to explain.

mau

MALAYA!

for almost two months my fuse seems to go off, for small reasons and i know i am not okay. i feel there is some kind of force behind me to keep me in deep rage. i feel shit and she is right. each day i feel like i forgot how to interact properly, i could not keep my composure(just like a refrain from the previous blogs) and i am so completely confused. i do not know if it is the pressure that kills me or it is my self that would not allow to let go of my anxieties. and i know all my feelings came from nothing and to nothing it will end up. i am a dust in the air of this vast universe and i might end up in oblivion because i could not figure which is left and which is right. i am fucked up…short tempered me…shorter than what was before… and i am sorry.

mau

MALAYA!