man in the fridge

last sunday i went to church with my mom(ehem!) and i listened to what the pastor was talking(another ehem!) and he was talking about Psalms 103 "Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits…"

David here was talking about praising God and instead of worrying and complaining, he just did bless the name of God, with all his soul and all that is within him. Amazing is it not? Because sometimes we cross over all the positivity of life and all that we could see are stains and the sorrows that we bring.

We do most of the times ask God of why and how he would allow His creatures be harmed by the devils, i do ask Him most of the time, and sometimes i even challenge Him to take me to the extreme.. which by the way is not good, so please dont do it at home. so the sermon of the pastor inflicted me with the sense of positivity in life, although i really am not righteous to be one. but at least some light had been shed upon me.

i have learned that there are questions in life that should not be asked, mainly because the question can cause gravity to the person, which i mean would pull down the person into a low morale. instead of blabbering things about unjustified thoughts and complains and perpetually asking people "what is wrong with me?" ask instead of…"Hey whats right with me?" it changes a mood of light from darkness.

by the manner of sharing sad thoughts why not share some goodness instead. it sounds too good to be true but i know its so hard to do. But once in a while id try to approach someone in a manner of hope… by saying Your being blessed today. let go of your worries.hmm… i did go to church.. can anybody give me a medal? hahahahah..

darkmau

MALAYA!

recently my migraine attack continued to bombard my system. jinx seemed to follow me all over. i need a break, peace please take over. decisions i have to make in every turn of time, places and faces sad smiles and fake hellos and unjustified memories.

so many things coming in my pea sized brain, and overloaded information that i cant seem to contain. emotions that i cant control, financial problems that seems inevitable, and school shits that wont let me off to have rest.

my brain is not working anymore, logically something tells me i am doing fine, but emotionally and spiritually im a floating molecule. ive been flipping from pages to pages to find a suitable bible quote to save my soul from burning, but i guess its not helping. so what the hell im talking about. well actually its all about beautiful smiles and sad realities.vague? ahh as always.

darkmau

MALAYA!

how would one quantify the fact of compensation to one who works? would it be the the output? or the input one is making? would it be the quality or the quantity one has done? would it be based on specialization or on multi tasking? questions and more questions.

why is one earning more than the other? if both beings work their arse out why should one have the seat in the air conditioned room, while the other is battering in pain on the dungeon? if education is an issue why then make schools that is not competitive to all type of education. and at the end of the day it will be on the issue of politics and economy. with all due respect all philosophies might work and theories might been possible but why then the labor issue and the compensation of it still remain a debatable issue.

why then should we get to school and keep our pens high to keep our head tight on the competition? because there is that unwritten prize in the end about a promising life with monetary compensation. one with the greatest education and a brilliant CV could have the most special seat in any multi national company. and add the major connections you will have along the way, you will be on the pedestal sooner than you think. and everything will follow, whores on the corporate world, who would try to get their sex organ up in your paycheck, a pseudo family you call happy, a hectic schedule that makes your life "worth-living" and everything your exclusive UNIVERSITY promised for. but then again at the end of your life, you will be there on your deathbed, struggling for one more breath of air and you would just see that you missed to more than you have imagined.

its amusing, because when your in the day that you have to die nothing compensates to the life you have wasted on climbing on top.

that would be the case if you believed that education can make a total difference. but if you lived on the ghetto and you have no money for that golden education then you will be left working your bones out but in the end you’ll be in the same death as one with the best education. the only difference is one had the experience of the so called "luxuries of life". but in the end of the day it would never matter. when everything should end, one should always ask, are these hard work well compensated? Marx knew better, and i stood beside his idea on the alienated labor.

nothing would ever compensate the hard work of man, be it the promises of a good life or the future for all your family. but hey, everything about these should be included when we were made. The idea of creation of the planet was not based on the complexity of hard work, problem started when the so called "GREAT MINDS" messed with life, the quality of life changed, and little by little human beings are being replaced by mathematic equations. gone are the days when one would truly say that life is worth living.

and up to the last bit, even the idea of faith is quantified with labor. if you do good over the idea of evil then you shall have the life of everlasting salvation. if you live by sacrifice and pain, then you will have the kingdom of GOD. if you do not work for the greater glory of Faith then you will reap nothing. everything is compensated by work. and all work. are all these compensated? if it is. is it worth it? and if you think it is, how can you say so. and more questions to follow if you are an optimist. but in the end we all know, we do not understand a thing about life. we just have, err we must just continue breathing… working.

darkmau

MALAYA!

wala akong isusulat

at wala kang babasahin

wala akong iisipin

para wala kang aalalahanin.

di ako aalis

para di ka na umiwas.

di ako iimik

para pareho tayong tahimik.

hindi kita gagambalain

huwag mo rin akong aasarin.

hindi tayo maguusap

pero di pa rin ako kukurap.

huwag mo akong lapitan,

dahil dali-dali kitang iiwanan,

huwag ka lang hahabol…

huwag kang manunuyo,

dahil baka akoy  magbago

sa tono ng boses mo

akoy mapaamo…

at ayokong umabot don

ayaw kitang bigyan ng pagkakataon.

darkmau

MALAYA!

Gumising ako sa unang araw ng Agosto, na may bakas ng kaba. May mga gunita sa aking alaala, ayaw umalis, ayaw magpalaya. Nasa loob ng isipan ko ang larawan mong nakangiti, tahimik na nakakatitig sa di kalayuang liwanag. Maraming nagbalik, tulad noong mga pahina sa iyong libro, na nagmistulang lambat sa puso ko. Parang tanikalang hindi ko maalisan, at kahit saan ibaling naroon ang poot sa isipan.

Hindi ko makuha ang tono ng bawat kantang nakasulat,pero ang bawat alaala nila ay tila multo sa aking pagtulog. Hindi ko sinadya na bulatlatin ang iyong tahimik na mundo, ngunit kung hindi ko mauunawaan ang iyong kahapon, di rin kita mauunawaan ngayon.

Nasaan nga ba ako noong umuulan ng luha sa buhay mo? Nasaan ako nung harapan mong tinatahak ang tulay na alambre upang matutunan lamang ang salitang pagmamahal at pag asa? Nasaan din kaya ako noon lahat sila natutong tumugtog ng gitara? Malamang naroon ako sa ibayo ng kawalan naghahanap ng kasagutan sa mga katanungang pilit ko ring iniiwasan.

Masakit isipin na ang bawat ngayon ay may kahapon. Masakit isipin na minsan sa ating buhay ay may mga minsan na dumaraan, lumilisan at di natin maaring kalimutan.

darkmau

MALAYA!