man in the fridge

could it be, while you were talking

i missed a point that you were leaving

and forever going?

its not clear to me when you said "I’m Thinking".

and i thought, something should be coming

yet round that chances you kept running

away to the truth of light…

for once, you should have learned to fight.

you wanted to have everything

but you just cant be kept waiting

while i am talking you were slipping

on that door you’re going…

this time… too late

i can not change this fate

this is an issue of where we were

now we cant be together.

and now you are what you want to be

so am i trying to be free

from your embrace that lingers

and your warm tears that fell on my finger.

darkmau

malaya!

as the butter spread its body over a pancake

it covers an amount of fatty solids

a mild salty take over the freshness,

of the free ranged egg used with milk and flour.

as the seeming hot pancake roll out with the knife

and the butter covers its body as sweat

while a jolly amount of maple syrup rush over

the madness of weirdness take over,

the sweet sour jam reaches in

taking time before its too late

anticipating the salty flavour of the butter and sweet bitter syrup

mixing with its own.

the creamy freshness of butter

the fruity flavour of the jam…

how i envy them,

separate entity, goes out real smooth together.

fulfilling a promise

and not by chance mistaken.

not a minute late,

always at the right time and at the right table.

the butter and the jam.

can you be my jam?

lets take over this pancake world

before its too late for breakfast.

darkmau

malaya!

the ironic crash and burn of the order of things

in the chaotic manner of appearances

the ever changing hues and visions

the me and the you that always fall short

the us that is never together

and them who are always forever.

the wait for the long afternoons

and all together coming down too soon.

the sunset and the unexpected rains

while walking without a warning

the " i miss you" and the "take cares"…

and the long silence in between.

the man behind the boy

the strength behind his weakness

the unending uncertainty

a cycle of history….our story.

if it could only be easy.

and if i and you could fill the spaces

for the lapses of humanity

only then you could see me as myself.

p.s.

the title is borrowed without permission from Kay’s brewing thoughts. and id like to thank Feb and Alfi for adopting me last Christmas and new found friends Ms. May Ann  and Ms. Ivy….you guys saved me from insanity…Thanks a million.

truly their is a GOD working in mysterious ways.

darkmau

MALAYA!

hawakan mo ang baso ng serbesa

huwag bibitawan ang kaluluwa

huwag matulog. sabay tayong mag antay sa umaga

magdiwang at magsaya bagong taon na diba…

huwag mong patayin ang sindi

sa paputok mong dala

itapon sa malayo

at takpan ang tenga…

sa pagsigaw at hiyaw ng pulbura

magsasama ang lungkot at saya

mga oras na di na mababawi

sa pagpatak ng alas dose.

wala nang hinihintay

wala nang makakapigil

ang oras di na titigil

eto na… eto na….

may magbabago ba?

sana nga….

o sana.

darkmau

MALAYA!

ang pag ibig daw ay isang palaisipan

di maaring sagutin ng madalian.

parang isang bangin na walang paroroonan

isang kamatayan na walang hangganan.

di raw madaling matagpuan

at di rin daw madaling iwasan

lilipas muna ang ilang taon

bago mo matutunan.

hindi raw ito basta emosyon ng isipan

di rin dala ng hangin ng kababalaghan

parang isang tanim kailangang alagaan

bago mo malaman kung ano ang hangganan.

walang oras na pininpili

di rin daw nagsasabi ng tama o mali

kaligayahan sa takdang oras

ay di dapat lumipas.

ngunit parang buhangin sa bukas na palad

di mo dapat ikuyom

upang sa pagdating ng panahon

ay di ka mauubusan.

pag ibig sa panahon ng digmaan

ay tulad ng bagyo sa dulo ng walang hanggan

umaasa sa katapusan ng unos

may isang puso na hindi mabibigo.

kadalasan, sa pagiging mapusok

ang naiiwan na lamang ay mga salita

ang tunay na pagibig ay nawala nang bula

di mo namalayan, at di mo naramdaman.

darkmau

MALAYA!

my sore throat is killing me. i have enough worries to sink TITANIC, and i almost forgot that Christmas is here. This is my second Christmas, and i don’t feel any yuletide celebration running in my vein. i dont want to start with pessimistic mood and talk about the needy or those who are suffering from wars of cultures and aggression.

last December i kicked the butt of the commercial jolly old hippie in a red suit a.k.a Santa Claus.  but this year i don’t feel like celebrating. and i don’t feel like something good should be celebrated. but before you blow your horns and start with things like life is beautiful and stuffs about divinity… just hold your thoughts.

if we would change places, and just for once have that emphatic sense of being… try to picture out what Christmas is for? and i wont tell you a thing about Christmas or stuffs about this traditional celebration, which is being commemorated across the globe even by those people who don’t believe in JESUS CHRIST. and tell me how funny is that.

for over the past 10 years I’ve been hearing people saying that Christmas should not be commercialized and it should be for children and a celebration for the birth of our Messiah. but did anything materialize? We have been trying to strengthen humanity, compassion and dignity to a level of true spirit of Christmas. but we always fall short after the 25th.

i have been disappointed many times, and i am bruised by hoping. i lost because  believed but in a world of uncertainty the only feeling that is left is hope, faith and love, having these three we achieve peace, light and justice. its like a jargon for software upgrades for it to become compatible with the latest hardwares.  and it doesn’t stop there. why cant Christmas go on forever and not just stop on Christmas dinner, new year and three kings. and for once why cant we just fulfill our promises and never let people hanging on by a thread of false hope.

its so hard to be disappointed. i should know… and you know. this Christmas, id be alone, sitting in front of my laptop, thinking, wandering. maybe its time for big changes. time waits for no one, can you just save me for now?

darkmau

MALAYA!

if you have a dream, go get it… never let anyone say you can not do it.  i guess im going to hold on to this line for as long as forever…one day i will make it BIG.

darkmau

malaya!

kahapon lamang ako ay masaya

biglang umulan at ngayon lumuluha

ngunit di mo na yun kailangang makita

tulad mo nahihirapan din ako.

minsan diba sa buhay ng tao

di mo masasabi kung ano ang totoo

kailangan mo pang isara ang mata

upang don sa kadiliman iyong makita.

sino ba ang may sabi na madaling mabuhay?

sa bawat panahon kailangan pala ng tulay.

nagsasawa ka sa paulit ulit na pag hikbi

natatakot na di ka na makangiti!

pigilan mo man ang panahon

di mo magagawa, kailangan meron masaktan

upang merong may masiyahan

buhay na hindi sigurado… di natatapos na katanungan.

darkmau

malaya!

crack my brain

and you can see it coming

like rain it never stop falling

the disappointment unending.

open me and you would see

a picture of a clown

hanging upside down

and he ain’t laughing.

                    dare to…

dare to…

dare to stop me

when everything is wrong.

would you

oh would you see me now

I’m feeling quite low

everything is slow.

it was in my hands

but it slipped away

it has never come my way

tell how could i make it stay?

no words  you say

could make me feel okay.

I’m here to stay…

no matter what you say.

this is a song

I’m trying to sing

while I’m around here

completely losing.

id have a feast

and have a time machine

collect all the things that did not come my way

make it in one place… so it wont have to go away.

like me and you

i know you’re singing a song too

for the nth level of disappointment

the things that keep on missing your way.

DARKMAU

MALAYA!(kaya?)

if i write another poetry

would you say its lovely?

have your heart melted

and finally you’d say "take me".

but then again,

if i can not make it happen

would you still stay

and wait for your heart to open?

i have been standing longer

than the hours you’ve been sleeping.

waiting for a word for you to say

but all I’m hearing is "hmm, let see"

I’m getting impatient

but i cant give up now.

and when this is over

I’m praying i can touch you all over.

i dream that lips

touching mine, on a night unending

a hug that would warm me off

through the sad cold winter.

all that i am

and all that i can be

longs only for having you

another word from me to you.

wait and see… this is me.

and words are empty.

let us see… i might still be joking.

but you will never know….it might be true now.

darkmau

Malaya!