man in the fridge

mahal kong maria,

kakaaliw tumititig sa salamin,

kahit isang minuto parang artista,

walang ibang aagaw ng eksena

ako lang  parati ang bida.

kulang na lang ang dumating ka

para may leading lady.

teka wag muna pala,

di pa ako nagsusuot ng brief,

gusto ko romantic movie

at hindi pornography.

saka ka na tumawa,

wala pa naman kasi akong masabing maganda…

ano ulit yun?

ahh oo yung salamin,

habang nangangarap na

sana’y maging akin.

siyanga pala kung wala kang gagawin,

maari ba kitang isama sa amin…

at habang buhay pasisiyahin,

kailanman di paluluhain.

nagmamahal, na ang gasolina,

juan.

darkmau

MALAYA!

dear ma’am,

please excuse me for missing the class yesterday, because i had sex with your daughter and she completely blow me off until i had no more strength to keep me standing.

i never realized how pretty she was until you introduced her to me last month. i know she’s 9 years older than me, i can truly say, we make a great couple. 

i don’t believe in love at first sight ma’am, but i think CUPID nailed its deadliest arrow to keep me falling. after yesterday, i know, what i feel is more than lust. it is love.

i am hoping for your kind consideration to accept my humblest apology and this excuse letter. and by the way can i take her out again?

sincerely yours,

Peter Promesa

the teacher replied:

dear Pete,

you are sixteen and i know that you are in control of what you are doing. your excuse letter is the most honest excuse letter that i have ever read. and it is very unique in a way that i could not find the right words to say.

let me  put it this way, i know you are caught up in a situation where you are so sure of what you feel. but i am afraid you should know this. My daughter is a former he, and s/he is not  what you think s/he is. she had some psychological problems that’s why we allowed her to go through sex exchange.

i hope you could bear with situation. and you are welcome to visit to our house, anytime. and YES take her out by all means, we don’t mind.

sincerely,

Mrs. Remy Rollo

darkmau

MALAYA!

LAUGHTRIP

i love you.

the last three words i heard while i placed the phone down. was it for real? or once again he was just joking. he was always like that, telling things to people which he doesnt really mean. but this is the first time i heard him say i love you in a joke. he should have meant it or maybe im just misinterpreting it.

ariel and i have been bestfriends for three years now. since i arrived in this town, ariel was always there for me. some people say we make a great couple but i just laugh in the idea of it. me? ending up with ariel, the super egostictic moron, who cant differentiate left and right, a super porn lover and a chain smoker?? haha no thanks, i am not desperate.

but yeah, despite his negative traits, he was the most charming guy ive ever known. and he never takes me for granted, not even for a day, he would always send me a cute quote or a satirical insult to make me laugh. but as always despite his cheerful personality, his eyes are deep lonely.

but yeah if i havent known him, i might fall for him. with the way he makes me laugh, the way he takes care of me. the way he makes me cry for his casual lateness during our dates and appointments. and despite the troubled world he keeps his smile ready to flash to my pounding heart of paranoia. each day, it feels like he is mine.

could i? no…

i could be falling for him.

KRRRIIIINGGGG…..

hello?

Ada, its me Ariel, ive said something a while a go… im sorry, i wasnt being serious… please dont take it seriously, i dont want to lose you as my bestfriend. i know i am not your type, but id like to keep you forever, so i wont cross my line… i am being serious now, and please let me take you out tomorrow night. as a sign of my genuine apology. okay??

alright.

he hung up..

and I cried.

darkmau

MALAYA!

i dont believe in superman or captain america

to save me from this rut and keep me safe,

there is no hero when you need one.

no super powers when the bus is leaving.

last night i heard the angel spoke

its all in time and things will be gone

oh it hits me when im trying to stay alive

where the hell are you to save me?

one more sip from the burning green leaf

and im still flying high, vodka bring me down

plus your memories and the kiss i miss

im going down from my flight!

darkmau

MALAYA!

it is over.

my clenched fist slowly opened,

now i am falling,

no more shouting, no more fighting.

tonight there will be no flowers,

no diamond ring,

or soft sweet music

to serenade the air.

silence, all over.

i finally cried a tear,

now it is hitting me.

everything is gray,

and this room felt empty.

the hands i once knew,

the eyes that made me,

lips that moved me…

cold… cold… gone.

there is no bright skies,

or happy smiles,

no past to recollect.

no future to look forward.

it is over.

in my own hands,

i crushed her heart.

my life i ended.

darkmau

malaya!

sabi nila nagmaliw na daw ang ating mga sigaw.

di na daw natin makakamtan ang ating nasimulan.

may kanya kanya na tayong daang tinahak.

at nalimutan na nating maging anak.

kay inang bayang naghihirap.

pero wag kayong kukurap, di pa natatapos,

kahit hindi kami sumisigaw;

di nangangahulugang tapos na ang pakikibaka.

hanggat may mga nahihirapan,

nag-aaway at nagpapatayan sa sistemang di pantay,

hindi pa kami matatapos.

mga iSDa di nyo pa kami magagapos,

at aming mga sinimulan di namin malilimutan,

nakaugat sa aming mga pagkatao ang pakikibaka.

ang hindi natatapos na pagtuklas at pagaaral

sa sistemang huwad.

hindi man kami humahawak ng bandilang pula,

o kaya’y sa daan nagmamartsa

di pa rin kami sumasang ayon sa inyo.

may araw din kayo.

mag hintay lamang kayo…

malapit na kaming bumalik,

at ang sa mga kasamang nasawi,

ang inyong buhay ay mananatili sa aming puso.

sa Panginoon at sa lahat ng taong may paniniwala

magiging masagana rin ang niluray na Bansa!

"ang tao! ang bayan! ngayon ay lumalalaban! dahil sa kahirapan!"

darkmau

malaya!

i hate questions that starts with why and how. i am not good at explaining things. i know the reason but i cant find the right words to make things logical. i am in my, CURRENTLY  FINDING MYSELF phase. i do not know where i belong or what to do. maybe because the weather is so strange that i lost my grip with the real world. or i had too little sleep to keep me going, or maybe the amount of vodka was too much for me. i don’t know what exactly happened or how it happened.

i have made too many people cry, plainly because of my moronity. and yes its true, what goes around comes around. i am in search of the truest thing to keep me going. i don’t know if it is a person or it is a career path or maybe a vocation to follow, all i know is I AM NOT MYSELF.  being away with the people i know, makes me half insane, not knowing where i will go and at what speed i am traveling is something  i should have focused on. the simple monitoring and evaluation scheme of my own life….still an operational failure.

yes. I am UNDER CONSTRUCTION, i learned new things about how life goes. for the past few years i have learned a couple of things that is simply worthless and would just lead me to trouble. and now i have fully understood the concrete knowledge and reason why Sex is important and why should we learn to drink once in a while. and of course too much of any will cause you trouble.

maybe i might become something else, or maybe i will become a better me. or who knows the possibilities. but one thing is for sure, this is just a phase and it will be over soon. after the sleepless nights, and devastating exam, things will never be the same again. there is so much reason now to drink, smoke pot and lose control but there is always a special reason not to do so. and maybe one reason is enough to keep things straight.

i might have failed at so many things. but i never ended the struggle. it is not by solely knowing the ideologies and philosophies in life that can create change. it is simply by being what and who we are, that creates a difference.

some things should go right even though its going wrong.

=darkmau=

  malaya!

my internet brokedown for the past few days, and boom i was left but to wander. the only good thing was, it was my exams, so it gave me the oppurtunity to study. study??? am i joking? hahaha, i manage to be really good at my finance, but i messed my human resource management. oh well lets see how it goes. but i can say now that there is life after internet. and it is called DVD.

yes you can say i am a movie zombie. not really freak or a buff but once in a while i have my own attack of watching DVDs. but in recent years my taste for movie evolved. i dont dig porns anyway. just to be clear, but i have been stucked with foreign films plus a dose of our very own classical 80’s. but while i was glued with movies, i noticed one similarity with the DVD and with my life. and its like my life is on a chapter mode of a DVD. I close my eyes and sleep and wake up the next day (without feeling that i am truly rested) and life must go on.

there are only things that i have just recently understood. and these thoughts are the most precious lessons i have learned while to trying to find myself. one of this thought is called perseverance. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BAD YOU MUST GET IT. because nobody will stand up for you, not even if you have the richest parents in rhe world. try until you can not try anymore.

physics makes the world go round. there is no such thing as something for nothing. for every single thing has its value and price. we are born with nothing but we can live with something and still die with nothing.

darkmau

MALAYA!

one more love thought before i light this cigarette

if i finally see you happy,

unafraid to be hurt;

unharmed by chaotic phase of unending time;

under the chariots of uncertainty.

if that day comes,

that i could no longer see;

visible lines of flowing tears,

and your smile is not bitter.

if that day comes and your flower blossoms

like a sunshine waking up with new hope

and dreams are finally coming true

while you stand still and fall.

if that moment comes

while the rain is pouring down

to the last bit of the song forgotten

but you remain faithful with loving.

then i will finally say,

i set your butterflies free.

and from that day on until the air escapes out of me….

I AM YOURS TO KEEP.

-darkmau

MALAYA!