man in the fridge

i hate questions that starts with why and how. i am not good at explaining things. i know the reason but i cant find the right words to make things logical. i am in my, CURRENTLY  FINDING MYSELF phase. i do not know where i belong or what to do. maybe because the weather is so strange that i lost my grip with the real world. or i had too little sleep to keep me going, or maybe the amount of vodka was too much for me. i don’t know what exactly happened or how it happened.

i have made too many people cry, plainly because of my moronity. and yes its true, what goes around comes around. i am in search of the truest thing to keep me going. i don’t know if it is a person or it is a career path or maybe a vocation to follow, all i know is I AM NOT MYSELF.  being away with the people i know, makes me half insane, not knowing where i will go and at what speed i am traveling is something  i should have focused on. the simple monitoring and evaluation scheme of my own life….still an operational failure.

yes. I am UNDER CONSTRUCTION, i learned new things about how life goes. for the past few years i have learned a couple of things that is simply worthless and would just lead me to trouble. and now i have fully understood the concrete knowledge and reason why Sex is important and why should we learn to drink once in a while. and of course too much of any will cause you trouble.

maybe i might become something else, or maybe i will become a better me. or who knows the possibilities. but one thing is for sure, this is just a phase and it will be over soon. after the sleepless nights, and devastating exam, things will never be the same again. there is so much reason now to drink, smoke pot and lose control but there is always a special reason not to do so. and maybe one reason is enough to keep things straight.

i might have failed at so many things. but i never ended the struggle. it is not by solely knowing the ideologies and philosophies in life that can create change. it is simply by being what and who we are, that creates a difference.

some things should go right even though its going wrong.

=darkmau=

  malaya!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 at 7:24 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.