self assessment
believing that life is too short gets me pretty messed up. i look at the skies with fear and not much enthusiasm to give all that i can give. the mere fact of death led me unproductive and uncertain. i used to know where my stones are going, just like a sperm inside a woman’s egg.
things changed when i went away, i met people i should have never met, i should have been to situations where i should not be, in fact all i thought was right was completely the opposite. i am opposed by my own actions. the dilemma of feeling brave while in fact i am being plainly stupid caught me unaware. its like a bullet hitting to the very core of my principles and i still feel numb(or dumb).
okay, i am still trying to sort out the Rubik’s cube and nobody said it is easy. i mix and match the combinations and each day, i try to do it my way… all my way. along the path, i almost forgot that i alone do not drive my life, there are things i could not control. there are things beyond my reach, there are things that i should not be doing. i am but me, limited to the knowledge of morality and amorality. i missed the targets, i am losing time, but no, i am not helpless. you cant win them all, but i am going to lose fighting.
Darkmau
malaya.
-self psycho analyzing is not a good way to help oneself but it makes a difference one way or the other.
